I’ll be honest — I’m a bit flabbergasted.
Not shocked.
Not surprised.
Just that very specific educational emotion where you stare into the middle distance and think, “Have we learned absolutely nothing?”
Enter RISE.
Our Bridget — Bridget Phillipson — has explained that:
“The universal RISE programme is being promoted as an optional offer available to all schools. Targeted RISE, on the other hand, involves direct intervention in schools judged to need significant improvement.”
Now… call me cynical, but that second bit sounds remarkably familiar.
You know.
Judgements.
Labels.
Categories.
The same pressure cooker that led to a school leader taking their own life.
But sure — let’s crack on like that never happened.
Judgement, But Softer. Probably.
We are knee-deep in a new Ofsted framework.
Schools are spinning.
Leaders are chasing their tails.
Staff are trying to decode guidance documents written in that special brand of bureaucratic English that means everything and nothing at the same time.
And just as everyone’s about to collapse into a puddle of laminated policies…
Surprise!
Here’s another thing to think about.
Another initiative.
Another acronym.
Another “supportive offer” that still hinges on judgement.
Because at the heart of all of this — despite the rebrand, the softer language, the pastel colour scheme — we’re still being reduced to a few words.
Words that attempt to summarise a complex, nuanced, un-generalisable place called a school.
It’s like reviewing a Michelin-star restaurant by saying:
“Food happened.”
Optional… But Meaningless
Here’s my favourite bit:
“It is understood that the DfE does not expect schools to engage with universal RISE and will not follow up with those that choose not to take part.”
Right.
So let me get this straight.
- It’s optional
- No one will check
- No one will follow up
- No one will measure engagement
Which begs the obvious question:
What’s the fucking point?
That’s not an improvement strategy.
That’s a suggestion box with vibes.
All Fart, No Shit
And then this absolute gem:
“The DfE also said that it will not be able to fully quantify how many schools are engaging with universal RISE, particularly where support takes place informally between schools and trusts through local networks.”
Ah yes.
The classic “trust us, it’s happening somewhere” approach.
All fart.
No shit.
Nothing says robust national improvement strategy like “we assume some people are having chats.”
£1.5 Million Well Spent (LOL)
Now for the headline number:
“The DfE has committed around £1.5m this financial year to support universal RISE activity across the country.”
Amazing.
That works out at roughly £2.44 per teacher.
£2.44.
What can we do with that?
- Half a coffee
- A packet of Smarties
- Or — and hear me out — a Greggs sausage roll
Which honestly might be the most effective professional development many of us get all year.
Maybe that’s the vision.
We all sit around with a lukewarm sausage roll, talking about pedagogy, knowing full well:
- No one will check
- No one will record it
- No one will evaluate it
- And no one will care
But it sounds supportive.
RISE, indeed.
The Bigger Problem
The most frustrating part isn’t even RISE itself.
It’s the opportunity cost.
Because £1.5m — while laughable at scale — could still be used for things that actually matter, like:
- Proper SEND support
- Mental health provision
- Reduced workload
- Funded release time
- Specialist training that lasts longer than an afternoon
Instead, we get a half-baked “improvement opportunity” that exists mostly on paper.
A policy designed to be seen, not felt.
Final Thought
RISE feels like education policy by PowerPoint.
Well-intentioned.
Softly worded.
Entirely disconnected from reality.
If we’re serious about improvement, then we need:
- Investment, not initiatives
- Trust, not judgement in disguise
- Support that actually lands in classrooms
Until then, I’ll be at Greggs, sausage roll in hand, rising absolutely nowhere.
But at least it’s warm.
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