Detention Diaries

A Conversation with Mike from Progressive Masculinity

There are some conversations that feel important.

Not performative.
Not algorithm-chasing.
Not “this will clip well for Instagram.”

Just important.

This week on Detention Diaries, I sat down with Mike from Progressive Masculinity to talk about something that is quietly (and sometimes loudly) shaping our classrooms, staffrooms and homes:

What does it actually mean to be a man in 2026?

And more importantly…
What does it mean to be a good one?

The Problem We’re Not Talking About Properly

In schools, we see it every day.

• Boys disengaging.
• Boys underachieving.
• Boys lashing out.
• Boys disappearing into screens.
• Boys struggling to articulate emotion beyond “I’m fine.”

At the same time, there’s a cultural tug-of-war happening:

On one side:
“Man up.”
“Don’t cry.”
“Be dominant.”

On the other:
“Masculinity is the problem.”
“Men need to do better.”
“Check your privilege.”

And somewhere in the middle?

Confused teenage lads trying to work out who they are.

Mike’s work with Progressive Masculinity sits in that messy middle. Not anti-men. Not anti-women. Not culture-war nonsense.

Just thoughtful, grounded conversations about how we raise boys and support men in a healthier way.

What We Talked About

This wasn’t a surface-level chat. We went deep.

We covered:

• Why so many boys feel lost right now
• The rise of online “masculinity influencers”
• What schools get right (and wrong) about behaviour and identity
• Why shame doesn’t build character
• The difference between strength and suppression
• How we can model better masculinity as teachers and fathers

We also talked about vulnerability.

Because here’s the uncomfortable truth:

You can’t ask boys to open up if the adult men around them never do.

Masculinity in Schools – The Reality

As a secondary teacher, I see the tension daily.

We want resilience.
But we don’t want aggression.
We want confidence.
But not arrogance.
We want independence.
But we panic when they fail.

Mike articulated something powerful:

Boys don’t need to be “fixed.”
They need frameworks.

Frameworks that allow:

• Strength with empathy
• Discipline with reflection
• Ambition without ego
• Leadership without domination

That resonated massively with me — especially in the context of behaviour conversations happening nationally.

We’re very quick to talk about sanctions.

We’re slower to talk about identity.

The Role of Fathers, Teachers & Male Role Models

We also explored something that I think a lot of men don’t say out loud:

Many of us are figuring this out in real time.

There was no “Progressive Masculinity Handbook” handed to our dads.
And there wasn’t one handed to us either.

So what do we do?

We model curiosity.
We model accountability.
We model emotional literacy.
We admit when we get it wrong.

And we keep talking.

🎧 Listen to the Episode

Below you can listen to the full conversation with Mike.

Make it Make SENDs #6: From SEND Crisis to System Reform: Lorraine Petersen OBE on What Must Change – Detention Diaries

Keywordseducation, SEND, inclusion, teacher burnout, mental health, school leadership, education reform, SEND crisis, education crisis, teacher wellbeing, child mental health, safeguarding, policy, school improvement, inclusive practiceSummaryIn this episode of Make it Make SENDs, I sit down with Lorraine Petersen OBE — former CEO of nasen, headteacher, and one of the most respected voices in SEND and inclusive education.We explore the current state of education and ask the big question: are we facing a SEND crisis… or an education system that isn’t built to support everyone?Lorraine shares her journey through education, offering deep insight into the pressures schools are facing today — from rising SEND demand and stretched resources to teacher burnout and the growing mental health needs of both staff and students.This conversation goes beyond the headlines, unpacking what’s really happening in schools right now, and more importantly, what needs to change. Lorraine speaks with clarity and honesty about how we can build a system that is more inclusive, humane, and sustainable — for both young people and the adults supporting them.If you’re a teacher, leader, SENDCO or parent trying to navigate the complexity of modern education, this episode will leave you thinking differently about what’s possible.Key Takeaways “We don’t just have a SEND crisis — we have a system that isn’t designed for everyone.”  “You cannot separate inclusion from the wellbeing of teachers.”  “If we want better outcomes for children, we must first support the adults in the system.” Support the ShowEnjoyed the episode? Then it’s time to join the class.👉 Head to http://www.detentiondiaries.com to read the blog, sign up for the newsletter, and join our online staffroom community.Because education doesn’t end at the classroom door — and neither does the conversation.Support the showEnjoyed the episode? Then it’s time to join the class. 👉 Head to http://www.detentiondiaries.com to read the blog, sign up for the newsletter, and join our online staffroom community.Because education doesn’t end at the classroom door — and neither does the conversation.

1. Make it Make SENDs #6: From SEND Crisis to System Reform: Lorraine Petersen OBE on What Must Change 01:22:32
2. Detention Diaries #6 Alun Ebeneezer – Creating a Culture of Discipline in Schools 54:56
3. Make it Make SENDs #5 : Music and Inclusivity – is it even possible? with Kate Campbell-Green 01:31:44
4. Detention Diaries #5 – Redefining Masculinity: What does it really mean to be a man? 58:08
5. Detention Diaries #4 What Teachers Really Need: Ross McGill on Workload, Wellbeing & the Future of Schools 01:23:12

Why This Conversation Matters

If you’re a teacher — this affects your classroom.

If you’re a school leader — this affects your culture.

If you’re a parent — this affects your home.

And if you’re a man trying to do better than the generation before you…

This one’s for you.

💬 Final Reflection

At one point in the conversation, we laughed about how awkward these conversations can feel.

But awkward doesn’t mean unnecessary.

If anything, awkward usually means important.

Mike isn’t shouting.
He’s not selling outrage.
He’s not building a brand off division.

He’s doing the quieter work.

And sometimes that’s exactly what we need.

🙌 Support the Show

If this episode resonated with you:

• ⭐ Leave a review wherever you listen
• 🔔 Subscribe to the podcast
• 📩 Join the blog community at http://www.detentiondiaries.com
• 📲 Share this episode with a colleague, friend or fellow parent

The more we talk about this stuff, the less power the extremes have.

And if you’re enjoying these conversations — your support genuinely makes a difference.

Thanks for listening.
Thanks for thinking.
And thanks for being part of the Detention Diaries community.