By The Disgruntled Teacher
It’s Sunday night.
Your stomach has begun its weekly interpretive dance routine. The mysterious rock you swallowed sometime around 4pm has now settled just under your ribcage. Your bowels are whispering, “Monday is coming…”
Tomorrow… school.
But breathe. You’re not alone. And more importantly — you’ve survived every other Sunday before this one.
To the Teacher Currently Wrapped Like a Human Sausage Roll
It’s ok if you’re not ready.
It’s ok if your lesson plan is currently just the word “powerpoint?” written in biro on a Tesco receipt.
You’re not supposed to be perfect. You’re supposed to be functioning… ish.
Because look at what you’ve already endured:
- A CPD session where someone suggested “mindfulness corners” for Year 10 boys who punch walls for sport.
- A printer that only works when Mercury is in retrograde and you’ve sacrificed three glue sticks to it.
- Three new policies, all contradicting each other, all sent at 11pm with the subject line: URGENT – MUST READ.
- A child who asked if Beethoven “was that blind bloke who invented pasta.”
- “Learning walks” that involve senior leaders materialising like dementors the moment you press play on a video.
- And of course, the fire alarm — triggered not by fire, but by someone burning toast in the staffroom again.
Yet you’re somehow still teaching, still turning up, still pretending your eye isn’t twitching.
The Joy of the Closed Classroom Door
Once you’ve survived:
- Leadership drive-bys
- Policies that reproduce like rabbits
- That colleague who starts every sentence with “Well at my old academy trust…”
You can shut your classroom door.
And for a little while, it’s just you, your kids, and a lesson that might actually be fun.
Some will be up for it.
One might even say, “This is sick, Miss/Sir.”
Another will still forget their pen — but that’s just the natural order of things at this point.
You’re Doing Alright, You Know
Take it one day at a time.
Smile when it’s possible.
Internally scream when necessary.
Reward yourself with biscuits like you’re on rations.
Perfection isn’t required. Effort is. And you’re already doing that.
And Don’t Forget…
- It’s nearly Christmas.
- Soon you’ll be teaching “Jingle Bells” on rusty glockenspiels and calling it curriculum.
- You can legally pour Baileys in your staffroom coffee and call it “festive resilience”.
- There will be mince pies, ABBA at the staff party, and at least one drunk PE teacher doing karaoke.
- And yes — it’s socially acceptable to be slightly drunk on a Monday in December. It’s called “seasonal coping”.
Feliz Navidad, educational warriors.
You’ve got this.









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